Foodtown Intervention

INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM - MORNING

CLAIRE DEVERON, witty and poised and looking much younger than her 30-odd years, unfolds a crumpled piece of yellow legal paper. WESLEY DUMONT gives her hand a manful, sexy squeeze as she blinks back tears. In the corner, interventionist JEFF VAN VONDEREN nods his wise head.

JEFF
Go ahead. Foodtown needs to hear this.

CLAIRE
(clears throat)
This is hard.

Okay.

Dear Foodtown:

I want to start by telling you how important you are in my life You are more than just a little grocery store. You are the closest grocery store for those of us who live on the south side. You have a decent rewards program that netted me a blender and a bubbling foot spa.

We have had so many happy times, like the time I discovered you stocked quinoa. And even just the other day I saw that you are stocking all kinds of natural home products to go with the organic and natural snacks and desserts. Brands I only thought I'd find on the internet, or in Manhattan.

But it's no longer enough, Foodtown. Just because you have Fig Newmans and Manhattan Special doesn't mean it's okay for your produce to have fruit flies, your eggs to be cracked, and your dairy expired. I will no longer sit by and let you ruin your life.

Won't you please accept this help that's being offered today?