Flashy Video about Forest Hills

A little fluff piece about Forest Hills that was sent to us:



How much does it reflect the reality of the neighborhood? It seems to be downplaying or ignoring any Queens-ness in favor of praising luxe condo life and mall stores...

How To Run a Business Into The Grind

Remember when we wanted Starbuck's on Queens Boulevard to burn? I sure do. Remember too, when our first Mom-and-Pop coffee shop opened? It was called The Grind. Those were good times. We had a place to go to and a place to point a finger at.

Not so much anymore. We can still point at Starbuck's all we want and say that, even if hipster gentrification seems a ways off - corporate gentrification is at our door. But, Mom and Pop are letting us down as well.

The Grind is coming to a screeching, filthy, understocked halt. And, slowly, to boot.

Several recent visits have shown the place to be heading down the tubes - with slow service, dirty tables, no napkins, no coffee stirrers, no smiles, loud music, no change and no fresh pastry. Don't get me wrong - I like a place with some personality, and I'll still stop off at The Grind and suffer through to get the occasional coffee, but dang, man, if you're going to run a business that sells coffee, do it well and do it quick.

I give the place three months tops.

Toxic Brooklyn

Williamsburg is our favorite whipping boy 'round these parts, but we do have friends who live there and in Greenpoint. And for running outside, McCarron Park is the closest option if you have a car.

Those of us on the wrong side of the tracks and on the edge of Sunnyside where it becomes Long Island City know how close we are to Greenpoint--and that smell. We might not want to associate ourselves with the values that Williamsburg/Greenpoint have come to embody, but the environmental issues that are affecting that neighborhood are close enough that we should care.

Watch this online doc to learn more.

Hi, I'm Satan and This is My Home Depot

Hello, Queens. Satan here. Just wanted to let you know that I've opened up shop in Long Island City. It's a little place I like to call 'Home Depot.' Now, recently I've heard some grumblings about my humble shoppe, and I'd like to address these concerns now before things get out of hand and result in say, an angry torch-bearing mob ready to destroy every thing in it's path. We wouldn't want that, now would we? So, to wit, I offer my apologies and resolve to fix the following as soon as I am able to get away from this puppy mill.

The parking lot. My minions somehow managed to make entering hell, er Home Depot, a bit tricky. I assure you that they DID NOT intentionally design the lanes to go from one to two lanes, make one of those lanes a turn-only lane and the other too short to make a safe turn from. Why one lane stops in the middle of oncoming flow of traffic? I couldn't tell you. It makes no sense to me either. But, rest assured, we're working on it.

We are also making every effort to rid the lot of all the large, graffiti-covered moving trucks. We would also like to apologize that these trucks make it impossible to turn into the parking aisles without being able to see oncoming traffic. We did NOT intentionally make every turn blind. It simply isn't true. We're not EVIL, here. For cryin' out loud, people. I was an Angel at One Time!

As for the shopping carts. Or,as Tiffany From The Gardens likes to say, fingers up and arching ironically, "Shopping Carts". Do you think we don't KNOW that there's not any shopping carts? We know this. Any idiot can see that there's no "Shopping Carts", Tiffany. Then, why, do you ask, do my minions send you out into the parking lot to look for a "Shopping Cart" when they know you will find none? THEY'RE MINIONS! THIS IS WHAT THEY DO! Hello! Futile Efforts While We Laugh Quietly????? We wrote that book, Tiffany.

Wait. I'm sorry. I mean, we're getting more shopping carts. We want you to shop. We want you to buy many large-ticket items. Yes. We are getting more shopping carts. Real shopping carts. Without the locked wheels. And, we're going to have people - very concerned people - to help you with these large things. And, we'll have them push the carts out to your car and we'll put them in the car and these 'people' will wave while you drive away...

Where was I?
Oh, my Minions. I mean Associates.
Did you ever think that maybe they only look and act like they're not concerned? C'mon, people. Sometimes there's such a thing as irony. All you assholes, gentrifying the neighborhood and you think you're the only ones with a sense of irony. For cryin' out loud. My associates have worked very hard on their sense of irony and if it manifests itself in seemingly passive-aggressive behavior peppered with the occasional outburst of profanity directed at NO ONE IN PARTICULAR, then I think you should work with them on that.

Oh, and we're firing all of them anyway and replacing them with gentle souls who know where everything is and will help you find it.

But, we will continue to test for drugs.

And, as for the item(s) that you cannot find on every trip? It's out of stock, dude. Get used to it.

Fuck all of you.

I mean, have a nice day. Please come back soon.

Sunnyside Gardens Gets Gentrified The Old Fashioned Way

By getting 'Landmark' status...
Oh, brother

One of Our Own Takes the First Shot

When William Grimes was reviewing restaurants for the New York Times, he would conceal his identity when making a reservation by using the name, 'Ron DeFeo'. In case you didn't know, this is the name of the original Amityville murderer, upon whose story the book and subsequent movies were based. Ron woke up one night and murdered his entire family.

Now, in an act of murderous irony, Queen's own William Grimes is hastening the death of our dear borough, while, irony of ironies, lamenting it's loss.

Read it here , if you must.