Seriously, I Don't Want to Die

Check out the comment in my post about bikes on the sidewalk.

It's really dangerous to leave the house. No wonder people develop agoraphobia--that comment is bringing it on in me!

Yesterday I was leaving the Y after my workout, and I had the sidewalk to myself.

Or so I thought.

I took a step to the right to put some distance between me and the guys eating lunch on the steps, and nearly stepped right into the path of a girl on a bike.

A girl on a bike was coming up BEHIND ME.

Now I need to look BEHIND ME for oncoming vehicles before I alter my course on the sidewalk?

I am a little oversensitive, perhaps, because I am 5 months pregnant.

But this is ridiculous. The bikes have taken over because the streets (as pointed out in that comment) are not safe.

Shall we swing from tree to tree like monkeys?

At least we still have trees over here.

Keeping the Sidewalk Safe for Pedestrians

I'm telling you, the sidewalk bikers are infuriating me.

Today I had a delivery guy WHIZZ past me, pedaling as hard as he could, on the sidewalk. So not cool! And not legal, right? He was only 1 of seven sidewalk bicyclers I encountered on 47th Avenue between 43rd Street and 38th Street.

The cops don't care--they have too much else going on. It really sucks. I shouldn't have to watch out for dangerous vehicles while I'm on the motherfucking sidewalk.

Honestly.

Concert: Ballet Fiesta Mexicana

Friday June 29, 2007
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm

Windmuller Park
52-53 39th Drive
Woodside, NY

Presented by Woodside on the Move and the Thalia Spanish Theatre.

Learn How to Park

Seriously. Do you have to take up 2 spots EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PARK?

You in the van, you parked 4 feet from the edge of the driveway.

You with the blue car--when there's a gap between two cars, you don't park smack in the middle of it. Pull the f* up so somebody else can park behind you.

And that's just who I can see out my window.

We sometimes leave notes, but our cries go unheeded.

What will it take to get some Brooklyn-style parking up in here?

Friday Night Fiesta at Sunnyside Gardens Park

"Celebrating 80 Years as a Community of Families & Neighbors" Friday Night FIESTA! 1926 Sunnyside Gardens Park 2007 Come join us south of the border for "Mexican Night" at Sunnyside Gardens Park . The Fiesta will be held on Friday June 29th at 5pm. Bring your family and friends for a fun night of food and festivities. We will be selling tacos, burritos, chips n' salsa and rice and beans. Assorted beverages will also be available for purchase. *Food provided by the Blue Moon Mexican Café in New York City .]

The End (of School) is Near--Party!

OUT OF SCHOOL BBQ & LUAU

The end of the school year will be boisterously celebrated by the kids of Sunnyside Gardens Park this Friday June 22 at 5pm.

This year's BBQ has a Luau theme and there will be various fun activities including a DJ, cake walk, field games and arts and crafts.

Splatter Gore This Weekend at MMI

IT'S ONLY A MOVIE: HORROR FILMS FROM THE 1970S AND TODAY

Saturday, June 23

2:00 p.m
THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977)
IT'S ONLY A MOVIE: HORROR FILMS FROM THE 1970S AND TODAY
1977, 89 mins., 35mm. When a vacationing family is stranded in the desert near a nuclear test site, they are confronted by mutant doppelgangers and gradually descend into barbarity. Wes Craven’s cogent, innovative horror film is an attack on pollution and on middle-class American life.

4:00 p.m.
THE HILLS HAVE EYES (2006)
IT'S ONLY A MOVIE: HORROR FILMS FROM THE 1970S AND TODAY
2006, 107 mins., 35mm. On the strength of his film High Tension, Alexandre Aja was selected by Wes Craven to direct this timely and powerful remake. Aja’s visually and thematically startling film expands the original film’s critique of “nuclear” family.

6:30 p.m.
HIGH TENSION
France, 2003, 91 mins., 35mm subtitled print. A woman tries to rescue her girlfriend from a brutal killer in Alexandre Aja's terrifying and gender-bending film. Manohla Dargis (The New York Times) said the 25-year-old Aja “has clearly made a dissertation-level study of classic American horror, specifically 1970's-era slasher flicks.” Preceded by THE SCARY MOVIE (1993, 7 mins. 16mm.) Two young girls act out the tropes of horror movies in Peggy Ahwesh’s experimental short.

Sunday, June 24

2:00 p.m.
THE HOST
South Korea, 2006, 119 mins., 35mm. Bong Joon-ho's hilarious and pointedly topical movie about a rampaging mutant lizard has many satirical targets, including American foreign policy and environmental recklessness. Inspired by Larry Cohen’s films, The Host was Korea’s most successful box office hit ever.

4:30 p.m.
THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE
1970, 98 mins., 35mm. Dario Argento won international acclaim (Variety called him “a garlic flavored Hitchcock”) for this harrowing thriller about an American writer in Rome who tries to solve a string of murders.

Museum of the Moving Image is located at 35 Avenue and 36 Street in Astoria.
Trains: R, V (R, G on weekends) to Steinway Street. N, W to 36 Avenue.

Concert: Kit McClure & The Inner Circle

Concert: Kit McClure & The Inner Circle
Friday June 22, 2007
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Location: Windmuller Park
Street: 52-53 39th Drive
City State Zip: Woodside, NY
Phone: (718) 476-8449

I have no clue who these people are, or if they're any good, but it's in Woodside and it's free!

Get Your Flashlight On

Last July, I was sitting in my apartment at a romantic dinner with just a flicker of candlelight. I bet that was one of the most romantic nights for Queen's folks since we were all in the dark—-it was the unforgettable unforgivable Queens blackout.

In retrospect, the first night wasn’t so bad. It had that ol’ blackout ’03 nostalgia, the bonding, meeting new neighbors feel, but that wore off – frankly that crashed and burned. After the 4, 5th and 6th day and night of no hot water, no electricity, and throwing out tons of food, me and the rest of the neighborhood were to the point of cracking. There’s only so many hours of 1010 Wins you can listen to on a crank radio and only so many D batteries anyone in their right mind owns.

Let’s not have that infinite darkness again or at the very least, let’s be prepared. As I saw walking past the Sleepy’s on 43rd—the lovely people from the Power to the People Campaign are holding a:

“How to Prepare for a Power Outage Workshop”

Tuesday, June 19, 7:30 PM
All Saint’s Church hall - 43-12 46th Street – Sunnyside
1 block north of the #7 Local 46th St-Bliss St. stop
Refreshments – Air Conditioned - Time for Q&A and Discussion

Learn:

• What to do in a power outage.
• What you should have on hand at home/work.
• First aid for heat stress and related health issues, and more.

Also, even more exciting (and fascinating) at the workshop they will be discussing plans for a flashlight march on July 17th. As the flyer said, “Let Con Ed management know we haven’t forgotten!

Don’t let Con Ed keep us in the dark.

Pure Bliss

Not much really needs to be said about Pure. Pedicures, massages, spa treatments--I mean, this is a no-brainer, right? But guaranteed awesomeness is not always the case, even in places that look nice and smell nicer.

Fortunately, my experiences with Pure thus far have been relaxing and recommendation-worthy. I've gotten 2 pedicures from Marta that held up great, and my eyebrows got waxed to just the perfect shape. And the one time Wesley and I went in for much-needed stress-relieving massages, we came out like butter.

The vibe is definitely Bliss via Queens--but there's much less Queens than Bliss. The spa treatment prices are high enough to be indulgences, but are still lower than what you'd find in Manhattan. Manicure/pedicures are at the going rate for places that have the spa pedicure chairs, which really is the only reason to spend money on a pedicure.

Pure is located at 40-15 Queens Boulevard, next to the revolting-looking Cheesesteak Factory. Appointments are a must. Call 718-784-6400.

Upcoming Lollipop Garden Events

On Thursday, June 21st Lollipop Garden will celebrate the FIRST DAY OF SUMMER with a special event – our second PRINCESS TEA PARTY. All princess' ages 2-6 will enjoy a fun filled evening celebrated royal style. Party is from 6:00 to 8:00. Pre-registration is required.

On Friday, June 16th we will be open for open play all day. We will not have our regular HAPPY HOUR with entertainment but everyone stopping by to play will be able to pick up some FREE toys and books.

We are still running a 20% OFF special on all party packages for the month of June. Please call to check on available dates.

We hope everybody is enjoying the warm weather. Please keep us in mind for all those unpleasant, sticky and sweaty days. Our playroom is fully air-conditioned.

Go See Some Art, Why Doncha?

http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifNot that we like sending people to Brooklyn, but friend of Queens Rocks Wayne Adams is in a group show that opens tomorrow night. If the other stuff is as cool as his, this is a show not to miss.

The Submissions Show
June 8, 2007 — July 15, 2007
Reception: Friday, June 8, 2007
7 — 9 P.M.


Wayne Adams • Yvonne Albinowski • Winston Barnett • Joe Banish • Hilary Basing • Renee Bouchard • Michelle Cheikin • Felix Cid • Sam Faix • Jonathan Gitelson • Asia Ingalls • Kharis Kennedy • Peter Konsterlie • Steven Labadessa • Matt Larson • Vivian Liddell • Monika Malweska • Desi Minchillo • Robert Mirek • Eileen Murphy • Alan Neider • Trevor Reese • Bailey Russel • Annie Sailer • Rafael Salas • Jamie Samuels • Kiki Slaughter • Cindy Tower • Ben Watkins • Ellen Warfield • Eileen Weitzman • Jane Zweibel

Sarah Bowen Gallery presents "The Submissions Show"; an exhibition of 32 artists who submitted portfolios in the past year. The show gives a preview of the abundance of working artists striving to gain gallery representation. The idea of a gallery or exhibition space can be debated as a conundrum, however exhibiting in a gallery space is generally perceived as a point of access to the important tastemakers and consumers of our time; the critics, writers, philanthropists, other acclaimed artists, and more importantly the market.

"What's it all about, Alfie?" One might apply this flippant question to the art enthusiasts and professionals of current as the perception that the art world seems to be running around in circles trying to extrude some truth seems all too familiar. It is no secret that subjectivity runs rampant in the Arts. Theory upon theory, testimonials and blanket statements of half-truths or lies profess to know what we as a culture can't inevitably decide with any certainty until the future. Therefore even with the most seasoned and astute tastemakers it feels sometimes the determinant for choosing art is akin to gambling.

Though the recent flurry to find the next best thing that gets the greatest market value can be seen in a number of shows featuring works of rather young artists; this exhibition includes works by tenured professionals as well as recent graduates, adding to the variety of visual stimuli. The variety of submissions, though only a minute sector of today's artists, only affirms the fact that there are a significant amount of artists working fervently to get into the game.

Given a one page guideline of how to submit work, the contract was that the submission would not only be looked at but responded to with written feedback. The structure of the show is that all the artists who followed the submission guidelines were invited to participate "because of their initiative" to follow through with the part of the job now days for artists to be half creator and half their own public relations representative. I am impressed with the quality of the work on an individual basis, but taken in as a whole, the show, though perhaps over saturated
with visual dialogue is inspiring as it affirms the creative spirit is most definitely thriving. -sb


sarah bowen gallery is open Wednesday through Sunday, 12 – 6 pm and by appointment. The gallery is located at 210 North Sixth Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NY, 11211. Directions: L Train to Bedford Avenue stop, take Driggs exit, walk one block south to Sixth Street, and then 1⁄2 block East. The gallery is located between Driggs and Roebling on the right hand side.

Going Postal

I went to the post office this afternoon, which I'm sure people do everyday. But, only the handful of people who have ever been to the Sunnyside Queens Post Office will have any empathy for what I am about to describe.

Go to the post office on a Saturday morning, and you will find a line out the door, disgruntled people fanning themselves, as New York 1 blares out of the TV in the corner, one half-dead looking woman behind the open service window. I assumed there was always a line because it was Saturday morning and the only time when most people could make it to the post office. This apparently is not true.

I went today, at 2pm. There was a line out the door. A line of people who looked so miserable that you would've thought they were on line for strip searches at the airport. So I do what I always do, go to the automated postal machine. Now in Manhattan, the automated postal machines usually have a longer line than the teller windows. However, in Sunnyside Queens, 90% of the people on line at the post office either are waiting to get money orders to send to relatives in South America, are 93 years old and want the teller to personally put a stamp on their Con Edison bill, or cannot read English (the only language the machine offers instructions in).

So I put my package on the scale and started transacting. I then hear, "Shut your f*cking mouth, just shut your f*cking mouth!" Assuming it was one of the disgruntled line waiters, I looked around to see who had attempted to cut whom in line. Then I looked back and saw it was the postal worker who was yelling at the customer.

The customer yells back, "I know you Danny, I know how you are. Try to get my package to the right place this time, last time it ended up in Uruguay." This Danny fellow he was yelling at, was a large postal worker with man boobs (all of our postal workers seem to have man-boobs) who just happened to be walking behind the window area.

Apparently Danny didn't like the fact that this customer apparently held him personally responsible for his mail ending up in Uruguay and announcing his incompetence to the entire building. Danny started yelling again and came out behind the magic postal office secret door into the area where everyone was waiting on line and had been for the past hour. He started screaming again, "Just shut your f*cking mouth, zip it, I don't want to hear it from you anymore."

The customer said, "This place is a joke it is always the same with you people."
Danny the postal worker, now more red in the face started yelling, "Just shut your f*cking mouth, it isn't our fault, they won't hire more people here, call someone who cares to complain." At this point, the one person who had actually been working at the desk came out to join Danny, as did two other postal workers in a postal worker gang formation.

I spun around and continued to type in the zip code of my package afraid that there was going to be a lock-in or something!

Disgruntled customer started yelling, "I call that goddamn number all the time, nothing happens." One of the other postal workers told the customer to watch his language, pointing to a child standing on line. Though when his coworker was dropping the F-bomb 10 seconds prior he couldn't care less about the kid on line.

Danny the red faced, man boobed, worker started screaming, "If you don't shut your f*cking mouth."

At this point my little automated postal friend-machine spit out my postage without cursing at me nor telling me I was a moron for not signing on the dotted line somewhere. I headed out while Danny and the worker were still arguing as I didn't want to have the people waiting on line tomorrow to witness my accidental slaying on New York 1.

So as you shell out your extra 2 cents for a stamp, rest assured it isn't going to customer service training for the folks in the Sunnyside Post Office, I can only hope it is going towards more automated postal machines!