Going Postal

I went to the post office this afternoon, which I'm sure people do everyday. But, only the handful of people who have ever been to the Sunnyside Queens Post Office will have any empathy for what I am about to describe.

Go to the post office on a Saturday morning, and you will find a line out the door, disgruntled people fanning themselves, as New York 1 blares out of the TV in the corner, one half-dead looking woman behind the open service window. I assumed there was always a line because it was Saturday morning and the only time when most people could make it to the post office. This apparently is not true.

I went today, at 2pm. There was a line out the door. A line of people who looked so miserable that you would've thought they were on line for strip searches at the airport. So I do what I always do, go to the automated postal machine. Now in Manhattan, the automated postal machines usually have a longer line than the teller windows. However, in Sunnyside Queens, 90% of the people on line at the post office either are waiting to get money orders to send to relatives in South America, are 93 years old and want the teller to personally put a stamp on their Con Edison bill, or cannot read English (the only language the machine offers instructions in).

So I put my package on the scale and started transacting. I then hear, "Shut your f*cking mouth, just shut your f*cking mouth!" Assuming it was one of the disgruntled line waiters, I looked around to see who had attempted to cut whom in line. Then I looked back and saw it was the postal worker who was yelling at the customer.

The customer yells back, "I know you Danny, I know how you are. Try to get my package to the right place this time, last time it ended up in Uruguay." This Danny fellow he was yelling at, was a large postal worker with man boobs (all of our postal workers seem to have man-boobs) who just happened to be walking behind the window area.

Apparently Danny didn't like the fact that this customer apparently held him personally responsible for his mail ending up in Uruguay and announcing his incompetence to the entire building. Danny started yelling again and came out behind the magic postal office secret door into the area where everyone was waiting on line and had been for the past hour. He started screaming again, "Just shut your f*cking mouth, zip it, I don't want to hear it from you anymore."

The customer said, "This place is a joke it is always the same with you people."
Danny the postal worker, now more red in the face started yelling, "Just shut your f*cking mouth, it isn't our fault, they won't hire more people here, call someone who cares to complain." At this point, the one person who had actually been working at the desk came out to join Danny, as did two other postal workers in a postal worker gang formation.

I spun around and continued to type in the zip code of my package afraid that there was going to be a lock-in or something!

Disgruntled customer started yelling, "I call that goddamn number all the time, nothing happens." One of the other postal workers told the customer to watch his language, pointing to a child standing on line. Though when his coworker was dropping the F-bomb 10 seconds prior he couldn't care less about the kid on line.

Danny the red faced, man boobed, worker started screaming, "If you don't shut your f*cking mouth."

At this point my little automated postal friend-machine spit out my postage without cursing at me nor telling me I was a moron for not signing on the dotted line somewhere. I headed out while Danny and the worker were still arguing as I didn't want to have the people waiting on line tomorrow to witness my accidental slaying on New York 1.

So as you shell out your extra 2 cents for a stamp, rest assured it isn't going to customer service training for the folks in the Sunnyside Post Office, I can only hope it is going towards more automated postal machines!

Live Music Friday at Lollipop Garden

Come and enjoy Lollipop Garden for 2 hours of fun every Friday 4:00-6:00.

On Friday, June 1st we will enjoy the music of RICHARD YOUNGER.

Admission is $12.00 & $6.00 for siblings & additional adults.

Pizza will be served so come on down, play & party with us.

Lollipop Garden is on Greenpoint Avenue between 42nd & 41st, across from Foodtown.

LIC YMCA Gets Much-Needed Face Lift

I just returned from a wonderful workout on the Long Island City YMCA's brand-new weight machines. They've provided much more room for the equipment, making the entire experience extremely enjoyable. They've also got new treadmills and ellipticals.

Well played, YMCA!

Now keep the kids off the track.

Dear Mr. Softee

Dear Mr. Softee,

While I respect your right to drum up business, I mean really with gas prices these days you must have to sell an extra hundred rainbow pops a week just to pay to run your magical refridgeration vehicle. I beg of you, can you please use common sense when playing your song?

This is not Manhattan, I wouldn't propose a ban barring an entire generation from hearing a song that brings them back to their childhood. This is Queens, where Mr. Softee trucks run harder and faster than anyplace else. It is not uncommon to see them flying down Skillman Ave faster than a fire truck. (Does anyone else recall the infamous 45th street/Skillman accident a few years ago? When one hit a parked car, flipping both it and the truck, only leaving sad melting clown pops in the road?)

While I think common sense would suggest Mr. Softee might not get customers by mowing them down. I also think common sense dictates that 11 in the morning while school is in session is not the best time to be driving around a neighborhood with the song blaring parking on the side of the road until the street cleaner chases you away. Nor is 11 pm the best time to stalk the neighborhood children for a late night frozen treat.

Mr. Softee, you are a big white truck with an HVAC system that sounds like a jet engine. We see you. And after one song, we hear you. But after several hearings of your song, we don't like you! Please try to use common sense, and in turn we promise not to drive by YOUR home several times a day blasting an annoying song out of OUR windows!

Sincerely,
Ms. Italian Ice

Life on the 7 Train--Photo Exhibit

From the Queens Museum of Art site:

Jeff Chien-Hsing Liao’s subject is the cultural diversity that has been a binding factor in the borough of Queens. The #7 train, the Flushing IRT, has long been dubbed “The International Express” due to myriad nationalities that have formed hybrid communities along train’s route. Like the great civilizations that lined the major rivers of the world, the #7 is one of New York City’s important arteries and has been an inspiration for numerous creative ideas on the level of economic and cultural exchange. Habitat 7 invites a reconsideration of the ways in which modern societies evolve around the manmade river basins of today.

Jeff Chien-Hsing Liao: Habitat 7
March 17 - June 16, 2007
At Bulova Corporate Center, Jackson Heights

HT: Queens Crap

View Jean Prouvé's Maison Tropicale

From the New York Times:

Tomorrow, the Maison Tropicale, a small aluminum-paneled house built in 1951 by Jean Prouvé, a French designer and the current court favorite of well-heeled contemporary art and design collectors internationally, is being opened to the public for preview in Long Island City. Christie’s, the auction house, will offer it for sale on June 5.

You can check it out at 41-98 Vernon Blvd from 17 May - 5 June 2007.

Learn About Location Shooting at AMMI

This sounds really cool--make sure to ask them what a "honeywagon" is!

Sunday, May 20
11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.
‘NEW YORK ON LOCATION’: FREE DAY AT THE MUSEUM + INSIDER'S LOOK AT LOCATION SHOOTING

Location: 36 Street between 34 and 35 Avenues in Astoria
The street between the Museum and Kaufman Astoria Studios will be the site of a day-long, free outdoor event offering a behind-the-scenes look at filmmaking in New York. Film trucks—wardrobe and makeup, star dressing room, lighting and electrical, special effects, and more—will line the street. Stunt, special effects, makeup, and wardrobe demonstrations will be presented. Food available from TomKats Movie Catering. The Museum will be free all day with interactive exhibitions and workshops. Click here to view a flyer. More details to follow in a separate e-mail.

*Sunnyside Gardens Park Annual Memorial Day Fair*

I like my hotdogs a little on the burned-y side.

Saturday, May 26, 2007
(Rain date Sunday, May 27, 2007)

Sunnyside Gardens Park
48-21 39th Avenue
Between 48th and 50th Streets
Sunnyside, Queens, New York
10:30 am - 4:30 pm

*Open to All

*Bouncy Ride
Children's Arts & Crafts
All Day BBQ
Field Games
Raffle
Rummage Sale
Bake Sale
Mr. Steve, the Kid's DJ, from 2 to 4 p.m.

Winter Clothing Drive--Yes, You Read That Right

Winter Clothing Drive
Organized by the Ladies Guild of St. Sarkis Church, Flushing, for the benefit of a school for handicapped children of Gavar, Armenia.

Please donate winter clothing, boots and shoes for ages 5-20 years, preferably smaller sizes, in acceptable condition.

You can drop off at St. Sarkis Church every Monday from 7-9pm and Wednesday from 11am to 3pm.

Or, you can drop off at Baruir's on 40-07 Queens Blvd.

The drive ends on May 30th.

Youth Baseball League--Sign Up Now

Queens Trusts This Painter/Contractor

After fiascos with both DIY efforts and the cheap-o pull-a-name-from-a-flyer-on-a-poll route, we spent a tiny bit of dough on a real painter. He usually does the uber-expensive faux-finishing that the 'others' dig so much, but he does just plain painting and carpentry as well.
Articulate, understanding, trustworthy and fast-
Brent Dickinson is all that and more.
When I'm rich, he'll be putting up "marble" everywhere in my digs.

He Rocks!

here's his email address:
brentdickinson-at-sprynet-dot-com

Tell him Queensrocks sent you. (We're trying to get in good for another room in the fall.)

THE LADIES ROOM/ BAÑO DE DAMAS at Thalia

THALIA SPANISH THEATRE presents the
AMERICAN PREMIERE BILINGUAL PRODUCTION OF


THE LADIES ROOM/ BAÑO DE DAMAS
By one of Venezuela’s most prestigious playwrights RODOLFO SANTANA
English translation by CHARLES PHILIP THOMAS
Directed by PEDRO DE LLANO


starring
ANGELICA AYALA, ALMA D’CRUZ, LAURA PATALANO, LAURA GOMEZ, JENNIFFER DIAZ, ANGELICA GUVERNEZ,ELKA RODRIGUEZ, ANGELA PEREZ, MARTHA OSORIO, LORENA JORGE, and FRANCISCO FUERTES as “The Seagull”


Ever wonder, “What do they DO in there that takes so long?” Here’s your chance to find out!

Carmen is the attendant of a ladies room at an upscale dance club, where the elite of the social, artistic, and political scenes meet to get seen, hustled, seduced, and smashed. She confronts a crisis in her marriage as a parade of lovely ladies streams in and out, sharing makeup, advice, secrets and more. Meanwhile, the club’s waiter, a drag queen named “The Seagull”, plans to make the most of a once-in-a-lifetime chance to perform for his idol, the inspiration for his act, when she pops in to freshen up.


SIX WEEKS ONLY!

FROM MAY 18 TO JUNE 24, 2007

alternating performances in English and Spanish

Performances IN ENGLISH: Fridays at 8 PM and Saturdays at 3 PM

Performances IN SPANISH: Saturdays at 8 PM, Sundays at 4 PM

TICKETS: $25 STUDENTS & SENIORS: $22 Special group rates


INFORMATION & TICKETS (718) 729-3880
At THALIA SPANISH THEATRE, 41-17 Greenpoint Avenue (Queens)

Subway # 7 Local to 40th St. Station. Buses Q60, Q32 to Queens Blvd & 41st St.

Lollipop Garden--Upcoming Events

Adults YOGA CLASS
Tuesday May 15, 2007
6:30 pm - 7:45 pm
(This event repeats every week.)
Location: Lollipop Garden
Street: 41-16 Greenpoint Ave. (bet. 41st & 42nd Sts.)
City State Zip: Sunnyside, NY 11104
Phone: (718)784-8519

Notes:
Relax, look great and feel great. New YOGA CLASS is now available in Sunnyside. JUST IN TIME FOR SPRING !!! Please call for more information.

After the success of our PRINCESS TEA PARTY, it is now time to do something for the boys� On Monday, June 4th, Lollipop Garden is throwing a SUPERHERO PARTY for SUPERHEROES ages 2-6. Party time is 4:00-6:00. PRE-REGISTRATION REQUIRED and space is
limited.

On Friday, May 18th 4:00-6:00pm for our Happy Hour we will have a special MAGIC SHOW. Admission is $13.00 & $6.00 for siblings & additional adults. Pizza will be served so come on down and party with us.

Please join us EVERY MONDAY and EVERY WEDNESDAY 2:00-4:00pm for BABY PLAYGROUP for moms, dads and grandparents with babies under 18 months. Admission is $5.00.

Please come join us on SUNDAY, May 20th 12:00-5:00 for our OPEN HOUSE and SPRING REGISTRATION EVENT. All new classes are starting in the next few weeks with something for everyone so please stop by to learn more and receive 10% OFF your registration. Admission is FREE.

We will be closed on Saturday 5/19 for a private party.

Get In Line at El Triangulo

What could be better than having a few women call you 'guapo' or 'lindo' when you walk in to a restaurant?
Having them serve you strong coffee, bring you plates of food from a cheap buffet, and seating you next to a big, glorious window on Greenpoint Ave. to watch the Sunnysiders stroll by, that's what.

Super-friendly people. Super-sugary tea with lemon, and loads of just-oily-enough-but-still-fresh tasting traditional dishes that will leave you ready for a long walk through your great nabe.

SGCA Mother's Day Plant Sale Today

Saturday, May 12th

Please stop by the entrance to Sunnyside Park (39th Avenue at the base of 49th Street) and pick up a plant for Mother's Day! Starting at 11am, the SGCA will host its annual Mother's Day Plant Sale offering a variety of reasonably priced plants suitable for gardens and window sills. A plant is a gift that keeps on giving! Plus there will be
coffee and baked goods to satisfy more immediate desires. All proceeds support the Park and its programs.

Sunnyside CSA--Application Deadline May 16

The Sunnyside CSA brings local agriculture to neighborhood residents. For more information and to sign up, visit their website.

New Cardio and Strength Training Equipment Coming to YMCA

Equipment Arrival!

We are excited to notify you that our new Life Fitness Cardio and Strength training equipment will be arriving on Tuesday, May 15th. Installation will take place between 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. during which time parts of our fitness facilities will be temporarily closed. We apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate your cooperation as we work to improve our fitness facilities and your member experience. Following the installation please feel free to inquire about a complimentary orientation.

The Long Island City YMCA is located on Queens Boulevard at 32nd Street. If you see a scowling woman on the indoor track--say hi. It's probably me.

Congestion Pricing and its Impact on Queens--5 Pros, 5 Cons

A Guest Post by Mr. Ambivalent

There's a popular Israeli idiom that says "for every two Jews there's three opinions." The history is there; the Talmud is basically one large argument. It must be in my genes, because I was raised basically without any religion, coming from an Armenian father and a Jewish mother, whose own Jewish mother's secret to great soup was to throw a ham hock in it. So, for my fellow Queens residents, I present to you five reasons you should be in favor of PlaNYC's Congestion Pricing Plan for Manhattan. And five reasons you should oppose it.

One the one hand...

1) Queens retail businesses will see an uptick in sales. For every person who thought "hey, let's have a nice lunch in Manhattan," only to see that lunch's check rise by eight dollars for the privlege of eating in the snob-beset inner borough, they'll start taking their lunches locally. For everyone who wants to just go shopping for a few hours, but daren't brave this week's 7-train debacle? Another local tchotchke shop goes ka-ching.

on the other hand...

A) Other Queens businesses will be hurt. Those lighting trucks that come from Silvercup studios? The guy who delivers fish, eggs, butter, milk, ANYTHING from Queens? Their price to just do business in Manhattan, their bread and butter, just went up 21 dollars per vehicle per day. That means you'll pay more from your lunch in Manhattan, and whatever else you might buy on your lunch hour. And smaller businesses who only do a little business in Manhattan? The location scouts, the attorneys visiting their clients, the accountants, the computer guy who's helping out his friend's father? Ow.

B) It may not help congestion that much. NINETEEN THOUSAND GOVERNMENT VEHICLES have free parking in Manhattan. Are their fees going to be waived? Seeing as it's legal to smoke in Congressional office buildings, but nowhere else in DC, do we really expect the Watchmen to be Watched?

but on the other hand...

2) A lot of money has disappeared from transportation coffers since the Commuter Tax was struck down. Wouldn't it be nice to see that all that beautiful money that's lying around in SUVs end up in a cleaner, safer, more effective public transportation system?

3) And speaking of cleaner, there's the big reason to support congestion pricing - less smog, less damage to city streets, more space for bicycling.

and then, there's that fourth hand...

C) In Western Queens, we have some very fine subway service. But Queens is a huge borough. What about the cop who lives in Little Neck? The cleaning lady who car-pools with her fellow cleaning folk and her equipment from College Point? Can she really afford the extra tolls? It's great for the publishing people in Long Island City, the attorney who could afford that nice house in Woodside, the investment banker who works in midtown, but as with any tax or charge, it's the little guy who will get hurt.

and like a many-armed Shiva,

4) those same little guys will benefit from faster bus service, not to mention actually have their lives saved when their ambulance isn't stuck in gridlock and they die on their way to the emergency room.

And yet...

D) Don't we already pay a kind of congestion pricing through all the tolls we pay in the Tunnel? Why not just add EZ-Pass kiosks on Brooklyn, Manhattan and Queensboro Bridges? I mean, Manhattan's an Island, right?

E) And I don't want to have little cameras always pointed at my license plate. My wife doesn't need to know I'm at the hotel with my mistress! Congestion pricing in London means those little cameras. What about our privacy? Don't we have privacy rights?

But still there's --

5) the fact that Congestion pricing in London actually *works.* The streets are safer, the economy in London is booming from found efficiencies in increased traffic movement, and the extra public services paid for by Congestion Pricing income also help most local businesses, even as it hurts the few who depend on travel to central London. Even the Economist, which while calling itself a liberal newspaper happens to be a conservative magazine, EVEN the Economist admits, and even now enthusiastically endorses congestion pricing for the London area. And getting the Economist to admit that Red Ken Livingstone, London's Mayor, has done anything right is a feat of Sysiphisian proportions. Congestion pricing, despite being put into place by a socialist mayor, is a very capitalist idea: you want it? You pay for it. Lots of people want it? You pay more for it. Simple supply and demand, and that's why in the end, I think it will work for New York. It abides by natural economic law, and uses our habits to raise money, while changing our habits with usage fees.

Congestion pricing, at its worst, will be an ineffective, needless, pricey tax on the poor. At its best, it'll make life better for New York City residents in all sorts of ways, improving their bottom line. God, and the devil, are in the details. If they actually improve infrastructure, like more park-and-ride for outer-outer-borough residents, give us a 7 train that's not always under construction, actually enforce congestion pricing for ALL New Yorkers, then we'll get a cleaner, more prosperous city. If they give us just another tax that ruins the lives of the lower-middle-class, Manhattan's going to speed up its transition to the Giant Mall Across the East River.

-Jeremy Kareken is a playwright, actor, the researcher for Inside the Actors Studio, and the administrator and moderator for the SunnysideNY yahoo group.

The Last Days Pre-Landmark

If you live or have been through Sunnyside Gardens lately the panic is palpable. On our street alone three houses are in the process of putting in new front windows, doors, siding, and front steps. Stroll around the other blocks of the Gardens and you will find much of the same. Was there a discount on construction and landscaping? Did people feel a spring urge to clean house? Instead of public trash cans has the city decided to just put dumpsters on each block?

I think the real reason for the boom in construction is that people feel a "now or never" push to finally fix up steps and vestibules they thought they would one day get around to, realizing that if they wait much longer their little construction projects may need to meet board approvals or go through other red tape.

So if you want to see what the Sunnyside Gardens of yore looked like, come quick because in the days up until the landmark ruling the face of the Gardens seems to be rapidly a-changing!

Failed by Dolce Vita

This post was originally published a year ago, under the title "Dolce Vita Has Begun To Fight, Let Us Not Fail Them!"

Dolce Vita has undergone a radical transformation, and are no longer endorsed by this blog.

Men, and women I suppose, it is time to stand for what is right in Queens. It is time to stand and fight. Fight like dogs. Fight like cats. To fight like folks in search of a nice place to have a good cup of coffee and a crisp Italian cookie.

Allow me to tell you of Dolce Vita, a place where the battle is being fought. They are winning the war against corporate invasions. They are fighting the battles of grimy bathrooms and stale pastries. And, they are winning.

There's room to sit while you strategize your next move against the enemy - in these lovely, plush red settees.

Plot all you will, while nourished by some of the finest looking pastries and custom made cakes this side of Madison Ave. (Nita's is a close second on those cakes, she wins hands down on her donuts and coffee rings. But, we won't bring the Romanians into this - except to say that, have you noticed how much that one girl looks like Kirsten Dunst? I mean, in an Eastern European, I've been working since 4AM kind of way. But, still...)

Starbucks might burn one day. Soon. If all goes well.

These Fresh Pastries alone might kill other less satisfying pastries in the nabe, leaving us with little to do but pick up the bloody crumbs off of the floor of Aubergine and The Grind.

Oh, and the prices! Fantastic! $3 for a cappucino and free biscotti - Claire and I were given Pistachio with chocolate.

And the pastry chef sat with us while she made a birthday cake that was really quite amazing.

Mission Accomplished!

Fast Food Nation

Where’s the Beef? Unfortunately, it’s in Queens. Corporate fast food god’s like McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s and others have touched the hearts arteries of one too many Sunnyside residents.

To my heart’s dismay, in the past I have not been a total food snob. In fact, when I’ve needed a quick bite, I too have partaken in the Whopper Jr. “fun.” But each time, I have been distracted by the overwhelming number of people partaking in the same “fun.” There are youth groups, grandparents bonding with grandchildren, teenagers on their cell phones, and once I overheard a Spanish lesson going on at the Burger King on 41st. The excitement is surreal—it’s like watching high-heeled women at a free sneaker give away during the black out of ‘03.

I don’t know about you, but I love our little donut shops, our cute coffee spots and my sushi being served in a boat. And this all comes without the fear of a scary man in a King costume lying next to me in the morning.

If we want our favorite haunts to stay open, it would be wise to spend our hard earned time and money at the small, charming, delicious mom and pops we have been blessed with before the “man” takes over our nabe with another flame-broiled hotspot.

Cafe Cuteness on the South Side

My friend is newly pregnant & suffering from hideous morning sickness, so I put together a care package for her. She lives in Park Slope, which makes her a long-distance friend, so I figured I better mail it otherwise she'll have had the baby already by the time we see each other.

What a lovely day for a walk! My iPod mini playing the latest episode of Filmspotting, I strolled down 47th Avenue all the way to our hellhole of a post office on 44th. Just as I'm about to pay for my package (thank goodness I was using the machine & hadn't waited in line for a surly teller), I have a mental flash. To my wallet. Sitting on the dining room table.

I leave the PO and call Wesley to tell him how stupid I am. He tells me he's just about to leave for Hackensack (don't ask), and he can meet me at 43rd St and 48th Ave and hand off his wallet on the way to the BQE. Beats the pants off of going back home.

Instead of walking back down 44th St, I decide to take 43rd & stop in at the library. A sign caught my eye: "Free Wireless." I stepped inside the Dolce Vita Cafe on the corner of 43rd Street and 48th Avenue, and discovered a gorgeous, welcoming environment that immediately made me want to order a Limonata and a pastry. I couldn't stay today, but I'm going to go back there ASAP to write up a full review. In the meantime, read this article from the Queens Chronicle.

Aint Nothin’ Scary About This Yeti

A Yeti can be defined as - a legendary large, hairy, humanoid creature said to inhabit the Himalayas. Thanks for the nightmares. But now to us 11104’s a Yeti is simply one of the newest restaurants to hit Sunnyside, Queens—Yeti of Hieizan.

Yeti of Hieizan, as I prefer to call, “Yeti,” (because I have no idea how to pronounce “Hieizan” and want to appear culturally/globally aware) is doing its damnest to bring our neighborhood fine Japanese & Nepalese cuisine in a chic setting—and it’s succeeding.

The place is brand spankin’ new. I saw a UPC code stuck to the side of a booth once. Ok—not quite, but it is really basking in its new car smell glory. The shiny cherry wood floors, the adorable booths draped with blowfish curtains and tiki lights, the elevated private booths where you can take your shoes off and eat on the floor (really, this is much cooler and classier than I make it sound) and cocktail bar— this place invested a pretty penny in seating alone.

And the food, (which I have primarily taken in the Japanese side), has amazing presentation and is delicious to boot. Go pork gyoza dumplings! But I digress.

So, there’s nothing to fear but fear itself—welcome to the ‘hood Yeti.

Yeti of Hieizan
43-16 Queens Blvd
Sunnyside, Queens
www.yetiofhieizan.com

How To Run a Business Into The Grind

Remember when we wanted Starbuck's on Queens Boulevard to burn? I sure do. Remember too, when our first Mom-and-Pop coffee shop opened? It was called The Grind. Those were good times. We had a place to go to and a place to point a finger at.

Not so much anymore. We can still point at Starbuck's all we want and say that, even if hipster gentrification seems a ways off - corporate gentrification is at our door. But, Mom and Pop are letting us down as well.

The Grind is coming to a screeching, filthy, understocked halt. And, slowly, to boot.

Several recent visits have shown the place to be heading down the tubes - with slow service, dirty tables, no napkins, no coffee stirrers, no smiles, loud music, no change and no fresh pastry. Don't get me wrong - I like a place with some personality, and I'll still stop off at The Grind and suffer through to get the occasional coffee, but dang, man, if you're going to run a business that sells coffee, do it well and do it quick.

I give the place three months tops.

Toxic Brooklyn

Williamsburg is our favorite whipping boy 'round these parts, but we do have friends who live there and in Greenpoint. And for running outside, McCarron Park is the closest option if you have a car.

Those of us on the wrong side of the tracks and on the edge of Sunnyside where it becomes Long Island City know how close we are to Greenpoint--and that smell. We might not want to associate ourselves with the values that Williamsburg/Greenpoint have come to embody, but the environmental issues that are affecting that neighborhood are close enough that we should care.

Watch this online doc to learn more.

Community Supported Agriculture in Sunnyside

Got this announcement by way of the Sunnyside yahoo group email digest:

Tomorrow, Wednesday, April 18th 2007 7-9p, marks our second sign-up party of the season at The Grind, 39-24 Queens Blvd.

We are very happy to announce our very special guests our farmers Matt & Maggie from Golden Earthworm Farm!

Tomorrow's event will be a great opportunity to:

-sign up for this year's growing season
-meet your neighbors & your local farmers
-ask questions and find out more about our csa and Golden Earthworm Farm

Event flyers are available for download at www.sunnysidecsa.com and you can also download the mail-in registration form on the website.

Signup will end May 15th, so if you are thinking of joining, sign up soon!

CSA stands for "Community Supported Agriculture." I've been interested in the Slow Food movement for some time now, but wasn't sure if it translated to Queens. I'll be at the Grind tonight finding out more about it. We're big fans of Mother's for produce, but the way Wesley goes through lemons and I go through Lindt 70% chocolate I imagine we'll still be sending business their way.

Sripraphai Don't Preach

Last weekend Wesley and I were blessed with a visit from two friends willing to make the trek from their chic digs on West 11th Street. Brave souls, they--the 7 train wasn't even running. So we picked them up at Courthouse Square and ferried them to Woodside for Thai at Sripaphai, one of the more well-known restaurants in Queens.

We easily found street parking, then endured a 20-minute wait for a table. Really not a big deal, as we were happily chatting and people watching. The downer came when we were seated--at the same exact moment as 5 other tables of four or more in our section. As a result, our service was glacial at best--one entree didn't arrive for over an hour after ordering.

Despite the delay upon delay, the food was astonishingly good. We started with shrimp dumplings, fried calamari, and chicken satay. I especially enjoyed the peanut sauce that came with the satay; it was a perfectly silky texture and had peanut flavor without making me want to reach for the jelly.

For entrees, we shared a pad thai that wasn't afraid of the dried shrimp (little pungent bits sprinkled throughout), sea bass in a lemongrass sauce that was hearty enough to be a soup, steamed chicken breast with basil sauce (presentation left something to be desired, but taste was supreme), and green curry with beef. The last was rich, smooth, with each of the flavor elements discernible yet harmonious. Dished up with coconut rice and the whole meal was a winner.

We retired back to chez Claire-Wesley for dessert: a chocolate mousse cake from Nita's and great conversation.

Sripaphai
7 train to 69th Street
Map

Penne alla Vodka Smackdown: Marabella vs. Mediterraneo

Boy, do I love penne alla vodka (with grilled chicken, natch). Macaroni and cheese for grownups. It's one of my favorite comfort foods and, like chicken tikka masala, I've yet to master it at home. Every time I try I end up with the most disgusting looking sauce you've ever seen in your life--and I'm a pretty good cook. Just check out how fat Wesley is for proof positive.

Last weekend I really, really wanted penne alla vodka for dinner, so I picked up the phone and promptly had a brain fart. Do we like Marabella or Mediterraneo? One is for pizza, and the other is for pasta, but I can't for the life of me remember which is which.

Marabella, I bet that's the one. I call, they know my address, I place my order, I wait thirty minutes for the sound of a moped and the doorbell 30 seconds later. I pay, I tip, I rush upstairs, absolutely famished. I open up the take out tin.

My penne alla vodka with grilled chicken looks like pasta primavera with chicken bits. It looks nothing at all like the penne a la vodka I've been thinking about for the last 30 minutes.

Thinking that maybe they sent me the wrong order, I call up Marabella and ask. They put the owner on the phone.

"It's just that it doesn't look like penne alla vodka. It's all--white."
"That's what our penne alla vodka looks like."
"Okay..."
"Did you taste it?"
"No, because I thought maybe it was wrong."
"You should taste it. My son ate two bowls of it today."
"Um, okay."
"You don't like it, you call me back."
"Okay, thanks."

I tasted it, and you know what? It was pretty good. Different, not tomato-ey like I like, but good. I decided to call them back:

"I'm the lady who called earlier about the penne alla vodka? I ate it and it was really good and I'm sorry for doubting your penne alla vodka."
A pause, then--
"Okay, thanks!"
Click.

Last night I ordered the penne alla vodka that I really wanted from Mediterraneo. The sauce is nice and pink, cheesy but not overly so. On top is a chicken breast, pounded, grilled, and sliced--very tender, and perfect for soaking up the extra sauce. I may have been wrong about Marabella, but I was more than right about Mediterraneo.

Winner: Mediterraneo, aw yeah.

Mediterraneo:
46-21 Queens Boulevard
718-433-1100

Marabella
4107 Greenpoint Ave
(718) 786-4635

Thank you Queens Animal Hospital

This week has been a bit of a rollercoaster for Paul and I, as well as our dog. Sunday our 7 year old black lab-mix mysteriously transformed from his normal, bubbly, alert yet lazy self, into a drooling listless shadow of a dog.

As far as we knew he hadn't eaten anything out of the ordinary (including recalled food) nor had been in contact with any sick animals.

Queens Animal Hospital on Roosevelt Ave, quickly saw him, prescribed antibiotics and took blood. By the next day our pooch was worse, unable to even walk. He was hospitalized for the night with a very high temperature, but by the next day I was told to "PLEASE PICK HIM UP" as apparently our 4 footed lunatic had emerged from the dead and was driving the staff crazy. His appetite had returned and after not eating for nearly three days he was eating out them out of business!

They still do not know what it was, but suspect he just got the flu, so IV fluids and some medications were able to fix him right up.

So just wanted to give them props and a thank you for what a great and convenient help they've been for the 7 years I've been using them!

Good Baby Pig-Eatin' on Greenpoint Ave, Sez Times

(Lynn and Paul--this is a non-vegetarian post.)

According to the Dining Section of the Times today, Las Americas on Greenpoint near 46th can fill all your pig--baby and otherwise--needs.

Wesley and I have long been fans of El Comelon, on Greenpoint near 41st, but I think I know where we'll be going the next time we get a craving for rice & beans, plantains, and some kind of yummy animal, washed down with sugary goodness.

My mouth is totally watering.

Before The Flood

Holy Crap are prices going up in Sunnyside. And this before the Historic District designation.

Just informal searching on my part, but it seems that 2 BR condos have gone from 265k to 340K in the last six months.

Check it out for yourself.

Thank the Lord for Rent Control.

Sheesh.

Clean Up Sunnyside

Found via the Yahoogroups for Sunnyside--

Please mark your calendars and join us for the year's first large-scale Neighborhood Cleanup Day, scheduled for Sat, 4/28 at 10:00AM. Come in your worst clothes and have fun as we remove disrespectful, ugly graffiti vandalism from buildings, mailboxes and other public fixtures. As always, kids are welcome to participate.

For those of you unfamiliar with what we do, the Sunnyside United Neighborhood Network, Inc, is a non-profit, tax-exempt community group. Since 2002 we've helped keep graffiti in our area under control through the simple strategy of covering it over as soon as it appears. Vandals want their "tags" to be seen, so we encourage residents and merchants to keep their areas clean once we paint them by supplying free supplies. We also powerwash and seal brick and masonry walls.

Our strategy works! But it depends upon the hard work of volunteers like you. Rather than getting mad or pointing fingers, we get brushes and take a "hands-on" approach to the problem. There's something for everyone to do. If you can't paint, perhaps you can help sign folks in or distribute flyers. We're also always in need of folks who speak other languages to help us communicate with volunteers and building owners.

I know some of you have helped out in the past. Please come again, and bring friends. We also welcome the participation of youth groups.

You can learn more about us by visiting http://www.sunnysideunited.com, or writing us at tony -at- sunnysideunited -dot- com.

The Inspection Fires are Hot!

Maybe now we'll see some real action on the part of health inspectors at NY restaurants.
Raise your hand if you've lost work because of food poisoning.

Looking for Doctors in Queens

I need to find a new doctor. Do any of you have recommendations for ob/gyns in Queens affiliated with the hospitals in Flushing or Forest Hills?

Email me at clairedeveron (at) gmail (dot) com.

Thanks!

Quaint Ain't The Shaint

Ain't Donovan's got better burgers?
Hell yeah.
Quaint overcooks and oversalts.

Ain't Tournesol got better steak frites?
Hell yeah. Any damn day of the French Fuggin' Week. And without the mushroom sauce drowning the cow, needer.

Ain't the fish just as fresh at Ariyoshi?
I mean to tell ya what.

Fried fish ain't ever better than it is at Kettle.

And, I ain't got the time or the inclination for a waitress can't even tell me what fuggin' hummus is. That's not very special.

What is special? The waiter cleaning the table next to us with Windex while we ate.
Ain't that special?

Ain't it clean though.

At least it ain't Bliss, but ain't we got to have a better place to take our honeys on our one night off together? Ain't we?
I mean, really.
Shoot.

ps - I think we might have found a nice Subaru. Wish us luck.

Chicks Dig Fish on Dates While Fried is Just the Thing for the Men

What has happened with Bliss could have easily happened here at The Kettle nee The Copper Kettle. Turns out the price of heavy metals have risen so sharply, it's too costly even to keep 'Copper' in the name. Well, good thinking there boys, you might make it through another year yet. Especially with the coming demise of Bliss as foretold in these pages lo these many times.

There's nothing special about The Kettle, really. Another restaurant-meets-pub from central casting. Decent enough service, what they lack in skill they tend to make up for in obsequiousness. Not that that is a good thing or a fine standard.

Claire had the salmon, which was overcooked, but they always are at these places. Nary a restaurant east of Lex knows that salmon is best when it's rare. Sad that these poor creatures with mere decades left on their entire species lifespan can't get the respect they deserve. 2048 People! End of Sea food! Learn how to cook a Salmon.

Is it okay to send it back? Why, it's absolutely necessary.

And a burger. I've gone here for the fish and chips, but the size of the burger gets me every time. It's so beautiful. And, as such, it was this time too. But what my poor poor brain always neglects to tell me is that these motherfuggers don't carry nothing but coleman's mustard and gray poupon.
Can I get and ARRRRGH!? Give something Spicy brown. Not over powering. Even yellow. Something one can really glom on there.

Ugh. yeahitsgood. itsfinefine. dontworry. i'll eatit. iwill. thanks. salmonsfinetooshelovedit we'llbeback.

Some day soon I'm going to eat the shit out of Quaint and if those bastards don't make a fucking miracle and put it in front of me and all the glory of heaven doesn't envelope me in a loving mustard that is bitter but not overbearing, things will get ugly there.

Kettle -that's your name now. too mediocre to keep the 'The' , really. Keep up the b-level game. You'll live in this nabe as Bliss goes down.

Quaint, with that name and all this buzz, I'm coming in there and ordering the yogurt covered pizza with porcini and I'm sending it back, and when they come back to take my order once more,I will scream about the torture your father exacted on my father back in the old country that was just like this in every way, He would come in, my father, after having the salmon at La Taza and then sit down quietly here at Quaint.

Then the dance would begin. I watch and learned. I watched and I learned.

The Dance of The Nine Widows will not compare the the wailing sounds of Claire and Wesley should the burger at Quaint not , I repeat, not be better than all other burgers of our tiny villa.

good night and God Bless


ps-
anywone know where to buy a good used car?

Staten Island Has at Least One Saving Grace

I was saved by Bob in Staten Island. I was Gaffing a show for blah, blah, blah and the lock on my truck got busted by an inattentive crew member. I hired her, but production was still going to have to pay because that's the way it goes. They called a locksmith. He kindly offered to come out, drill through the lock and charge us a mere $500.00

I was getting heat from production on this which could only mean delays in payment for me.

So, I called a locksmith who I knew as knowledgeable and trustworthy (Galaxy Locksmith, Tremont Ave. in The Bronx). He didn't know anyone who serviced my brand in Staten Island, but told me to call Stein in Queens or Frank in Brooklyn. Frank said he knew a guy in Staten Island who sells that brand.

That guy is Bob. He's a great locksmith. He's a superb human being.

I had about an hour before we moved from our lunch break and into the next location where we would have to have the truck. I could go the quick route, Bob said, and drill it out.

Or, we could chance it he said, and try to get it open without destroying it. Could take five minutes, could take an hour. But, he was willing to give it a shot. He got it open in three. Replaced the lock, with some effort, in twenty. It was so fast and cheap, I bought two locks.

He could have really screwed me. He knew I had to be back to shoot. Instead, he did what he did and charged me what he would charge anyone else.

There's a lesson here, too about living and working in New York. Sometimes, when you think people are going to screw you over, you're right. That's when you make take a deep breath, make some calls and find someone like Bob.

I was at the next location on time, production had to pay the $85 to get into the truck and have the lock removed. I paid $85 for two new locks.

What's a Landmark?

When I think of a landmark I think of the Statue of Liberty or The Empire State building. I don't think of the apartment ("deck" view above) Paul and I rent in a house in Sunnyside Gardens.

But, as NY1 is reporting, our home may soon qualify for landmark status. However, much like those at the meeting, I have no clue what that means.

If in 1930 the house had pink flowers in front can the owner no longer plant red? Or does it just mean that if someone moved out, Starbucks can't move in?

Any insight and comments from those more familiar with the topic would definitely be appreciated!

Bliss is a Miss

I wanted to like Bliss, I really did.

When they opened in the late summer of 2005 on the corner of 46th Street and Skillman Avenue where the former Jaunting Car Pub used to stand, it was one of the first signs that our little neighborhood was changing. Soon after came the much beloved Sunnyside Garden Farms market across the street, and then Bliss' rival restaurant, Quaint just down Skillman Avenue. Lynn and I first ate at Bliss shortly after they opened, eager to show our support for a new local restaurant. On our first visit, the service was great - the server was attentive, gave us a run down of the wine list, the beers available (both bottles and on tap), and the specials.We were both fairly pleased with the experience, despite the fact that as vegetarians we could only order one item from the menu - the fresh mushroom ravioli appetizer, as our main course, which we liked. Since it was a bit pricey and since the menu didn't change over the next year to include other vegetarian entrees, we didn't return until recently. Instead we often favored Bliss' neighbor Quaint, which opened in early 2006. Quaint has a slightly more diverse menu (though still lacking in the veg department), has a nicer atmosphere, and is a bit more affordable.

On our most recent visit back to Bliss things had changed. The flimsy card stock menus were splattered with red wine stains, there was no wine or drink list, and they had taken out the beers on tap which left them offering only Amstel, Coors Light, Bud Light and Corona, which made the place feel more like Applebee's than a "new-American bistro" as described by the New York Times. It took ages for the wait staff (who were nothing but polite and friendly) to take our drink orders, ages for our drinks to arrive, and ages for our food to arrive. And they were not that busy. Again, Lynn and I had the mushroom ravioli appetizer as our entree, but this time Lynn noted that the sauce tasted like "a mix of butter and dijon mustard." Our dining companions who are not vegetarian were only a little more adventurous. One had the salmon, which was nicely presented and was reported to be very good. The other had their hamburger. While I did not sample the burger, the bun looked like it came from a 12-pack of Wonder buns they bought across the street at Sunnyside Garden Farms and the pickle slices on the side looked sickly and pale, as if they had been sitting in a jar for a decade or more. While it didn't quite redeem the experience completely, I admit their chocolate mousse dessert was tasty.

It's surprising that in the face of some stiff competition with Quaint, Bliss didn't try to step things up a bit - shake up their menu, lower their prices a smidge, have more interesting drinks and specials. Instead they have done the complete opposite - they have stagnated, taken away drink options and let their service slide. It's no wonder then that their busiest night of the week is Tuesday - the one night Quaint is closed. On other nights when we walk by, Bliss is sadly empty while Quaint is hopping. It makes me wonder how long Bliss can survive. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like it would be sorely missed.

(Here's what Wesley had to say about Bliss last year. I wish I could say they've come a long way since ...)

There's No Place Like Home

Despite the fact that we live in one of the biggest cities in the world, witness to crazy scenarios, commutes, and people, I often find myself most shocked when we leave our little metropolis and head to one of those distant lands called "suburbia."

Determined not to spend another weekend confined to a ten block area so as not to have to join our Queens brethren on the boulevard waiting for a bus, Paul and I decided to finally use the secondhand car we recently purchased (despite agonizing over giving up a parking spot) and take a day trip to lands far and wide. We headed to New Hope, Pennsylvania about an hour and a half away, as we had heard it was "cute."

Cute it was, though after two hours of walking around town, eating mediterranean food commenting "it's OK but not as good as Turkish Grill," and realizing New Hope really constituted the hope of many aging artists to lure well-off Manhattanites into purchasing overpriced art, antiques and stained glass, we decided to head back toward civilization.

Along the way to civilization we had to stumble through New Jersey where I nearly caused a traffic accident when I screamed out in glee at the sight of a Wegmans supermarket. A sight I haven't seen since I graduated college in upstate New York. I made Paul pull over and we proceeded to spend about as much time as we had in New Hope roaming around this "super-Wegs" that came replete with a toy train running overhead, free samples, and an attached beer and liquor store.

A cross between Whole Foods and Costco, but with cheaper prices and less "bulk" the store was a city dweller's dream. The natives, aka New Jersey soccer moms, navigated the aisles like I navigate the subway tunnels, whereas Paul and I walked around, mouths agape, unsteadily operating a shopping cart, like cold war Russians brought into a Walmart warehouse. One woman even remarked "Why is it so crowded here today, you would think they are giving away stuff for free."

Meanwhile I looked around at the 7 foot wide aisles devoid of pedestrian and cart traffic. I wanted to pick that lady up and drop her into the middle of the Queens Blvd Food Dynasty with a full size shopping cart with aises half as wide and people smushed twice as deep to really show her what "crowded" was. I felt like we had come from a poor country to the land of plenty. I

n an effort to locate a bottle of salad dressing I found myself separated from Paul and lost like a little girl on an afterschool special. After 15 minutes of aisle roaming I had to call him and said "help I'm lost in aisle 17 with a bottle of storebrand fat free thousand island dressing and 16 New Jersey soccer moms, grab the cart, pick me up and lets head back to the real world, where you walk to the store, buy just what you need, and don't have to deal with THESE people."

So while it is nice to get away now and then, everytime I leave I realize I should've just stayed home and learned the lessen the Wizard of Oz taught me years ago. There's no place like home, and no place like Queens!

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Saints on the Boulevard

We love our car, a 1988 VW Fox that Wesley bought just a few months after we started dating. She's been to Maine, Ohio, Pennsylvania a bunch of times, in to Jersey down to Maryland, and all around our great state of New York. She helps Wesley haul things for work, and takes us to visit our friends across the creek in Williamsburg. But she's a bit of a thoroughbred, and we've developed a good relationship with the folks at Manners Motors, off of Northern Boulevard on 45th Street and 34th Ave. We call our car Ellen Johnson, and we call the stretch of road over the bridge back to our side of the Boulevard "The Ellen Johnson Walk of Despair."

Yesterday I had to pick EJ up from Manners so I called Bliss 48 to take me over there. Got the car, drove home, no problem. I was headed to a party in Ditmas Park, and since the 7 train is all screwed up, the plan was to drop the car off in LIC proper and catch the E/V into Manhattan where I'd then get the D, the ultimate goal being to transfer to the R. Wesley's lot is over there, and since he was working an overnight he'd be bringing the truck back around 5 am, where EJ would be waiting for him to ferry him home. (I split a car home with 3 W'burg friends that cost us over $40, all told.)

My first stop was Lowery's, where I picked up a bottle of Pinot Noir to contribute to the soiree, a girl's only Valentine's Day party hosted by a dear friend I don't see nearly enough of. Then, I set off down the Boulevard.

I was cruising in one of the middle lanes, when all of a sudden I couldn't see. My brain could not immediately process what was happening, but instinctively I knew not to slam on the brakes. The front hood had flown up in my face, blocking my vision. I flicked my hazards on and used my rear mirrors to determine when I could come to a halt without getting rearended. I knew I had some time before I reached a red light so my chances of killing a pedestrian in the crosswalk were negligible.

I'm in the middle of Queens Boulevard, across from the McDonald's at 38th Street, and I get out to put the hood down. I can't get it down--it's stuck on the windshield wipers. I'm tugging and tugging and realize I'm in danger of having it slam on my fingers. People are driving past me and honking at me, which is really just so very rude, don't you think? I have no idea what to do. I tend to panic in car-related situations, and the tears start to come and turn into a full-fledged panic attack with hyperventilating.

At this point, enter the good Samaritans. 2 cars stopped for me--3 very, very nice men who calmed me down, and who wrestled with the front hood until it came down. They offered to call AAA for me, but I had my AAA card so they just made room for me to make the left hand turn into the parking area under the 7 train. I called Wesley, who advised me to pay for the meter until 10 pm and that he'd deal with the car on Sunday. I did just that, then took the bus at 38th Street to Queens Plaza, where I got the R to the Q and was at the party an hour later. And, boy, did I drink that Pinot Noir.

Many thanks to you for stopping, whoever you may be. I hope something good comes back to you because of it.

One Day a Week is All Nita Asks

I posted previously on my failed attempt to get a donut from Nita's Bakery on Greenpoint Ave. They only sell them on Sunday.
Do you want to know why the only sell them on Sunday?
Because they kick motherfucking ass, that's why.

Repair or Despair: Stranded by the 7 Train

I love Queens. I love Sunnyside. That said, occasionally, on long weekends, or say, every weekend in the month of March, I do occasionally like to leave the area, even if it is to just go deeper into Queens and grab some Indian food in Jackson Heights. Unfortunately the MTA has decided for the next 6 weeks or so the area of queens reliant on the 7 train is under house arrest where no one is allowed in or out.

In an effort to not leave us completely stranded the MTA was kind enough to provide us with shuttle busses in addition to the normal bus lines that come through the area. While I may not be an MTA thought leader, I wonder by what calculation those thought leaders came up with the idea that a BUS would be able to accommodate as many people as a 10 car subway train?

Now I know that work needs to be done on the train and platform, which is most evident on the Queensbound 45th road platform where large chunks of the concrete floor continue to go missing, though are covered up by large pieces of wood. But is there not a better way that this work can be done?

Would east siders tolerate the 4, 5 and 6 trains being out of commission for an entire weekend? Would the city tolerate this as it would likely strand and inconvenience thousands of tourists? Our subway system has been in existence for over 100 years, yet after all that time they can't figure out a way to make repairs?

So while the title of this blog is Let's Meet Up In Queens, you better have your own transportation to get here!

Hi, I'm Satan and This is My Home Depot

Hello, Queens. Satan here. Just wanted to let you know that I've opened up shop in Long Island City. It's a little place I like to call 'Home Depot.' Now, recently I've heard some grumblings about my humble shoppe, and I'd like to address these concerns now before things get out of hand and result in say, an angry torch-bearing mob ready to destroy every thing in it's path. We wouldn't want that, now would we? So, to wit, I offer my apologies and resolve to fix the following as soon as I am able to get away from this puppy mill.

The parking lot. My minions somehow managed to make entering hell, er Home Depot, a bit tricky. I assure you that they DID NOT intentionally design the lanes to go from one to two lanes, make one of those lanes a turn-only lane and the other too short to make a safe turn from. Why one lane stops in the middle of oncoming flow of traffic? I couldn't tell you. It makes no sense to me either. But, rest assured, we're working on it.

We are also making every effort to rid the lot of all the large, graffiti-covered moving trucks. We would also like to apologize that these trucks make it impossible to turn into the parking aisles without being able to see oncoming traffic. We did NOT intentionally make every turn blind. It simply isn't true. We're not EVIL, here. For cryin' out loud, people. I was an Angel at One Time!

As for the shopping carts. Or,as Tiffany From The Gardens likes to say, fingers up and arching ironically, "Shopping Carts". Do you think we don't KNOW that there's not any shopping carts? We know this. Any idiot can see that there's no "Shopping Carts", Tiffany. Then, why, do you ask, do my minions send you out into the parking lot to look for a "Shopping Cart" when they know you will find none? THEY'RE MINIONS! THIS IS WHAT THEY DO! Hello! Futile Efforts While We Laugh Quietly????? We wrote that book, Tiffany.

Wait. I'm sorry. I mean, we're getting more shopping carts. We want you to shop. We want you to buy many large-ticket items. Yes. We are getting more shopping carts. Real shopping carts. Without the locked wheels. And, we're going to have people - very concerned people - to help you with these large things. And, we'll have them push the carts out to your car and we'll put them in the car and these 'people' will wave while you drive away...

Where was I?
Oh, my Minions. I mean Associates.
Did you ever think that maybe they only look and act like they're not concerned? C'mon, people. Sometimes there's such a thing as irony. All you assholes, gentrifying the neighborhood and you think you're the only ones with a sense of irony. For cryin' out loud. My associates have worked very hard on their sense of irony and if it manifests itself in seemingly passive-aggressive behavior peppered with the occasional outburst of profanity directed at NO ONE IN PARTICULAR, then I think you should work with them on that.

Oh, and we're firing all of them anyway and replacing them with gentle souls who know where everything is and will help you find it.

But, we will continue to test for drugs.

And, as for the item(s) that you cannot find on every trip? It's out of stock, dude. Get used to it.

Fuck all of you.

I mean, have a nice day. Please come back soon.

A 7 Train Experiment

The 7 train at 40th Street is usually a nightmare on weekday mornings. Too many people, not enough trains. I hit the platform between 7:45 and 8 am, and I've often had to let 2 or 3 trains go by before I can actually squeeze on to one. Everyone is in a bad mood (me included), and in the recent cold weather tempers have been flaring.

This week, I attempted an experiment. I hopped a Flushing-bound 7 train to 61st Street, and got the Manhattan-bound train there. Instead of standing on the platform freezing, I was warm and toasty on the train, reading my book. The Manhattan-bound express was crowded, but it was nothing compared to the crowds that I was seeing on the local platforms. I ran this experiment on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, and it basically took me the same amount of time. Or if it took longer, it felt less stressful.

I'm not sure yet if this is a winning strategy or not. Anyone else have tips for mastering the morning commute?

The Greatest Move Of All

Wesley and I just moved--but before you scorn us for deserting a neighborhood we claim to love so much, we only moved 7 houses down. Our former apartment was the top floor of a 2 family home that housed 3 families: a studio apartment in the basement, a 2-bedroom on the first floor, and a 2.5-bedroom on the 2nd floor. Friends of Wesley's discovered the place about 10 years ago, with Wesley moving in about 5 years ago (he had previously lived on another block in Sunnyside on the other side of the Boulevard). I arrived on the scene around the time of our wedding in December 2003, fresh from the West Village and full of attitude.

I had lived at the corner of Bedford and Leroy since April 1997, and before that I lived on the other side of Washington Square Park in NYU graduate housing. When I moved to Sunnyside, I was surprised and amazed at how wonderfully quiet it was. At my old place, there were 2 bars about 20 yards from my bedroom window, and I was frequently woken up in the middle of the night by cigarette smoke (post-smoking ban) and couples breaking up with each other. My favorite was a woman screaming, "You get back here and break up with me properly!"

Despite the loudness and chaos of the Wee-Vill, as my one roommate and I called it, I loved the convenience. I used to walk to the movie theater on 23rd and Broadway, or down to jobs I had in Tribeca. I was right around the corner from Film Forum, Grey Dog Coffee, and Evergreen Video. When we went out, if one bar was too crowded, we went to another. I could get delivery from a hundred restaurants.

Sunnyside couldn't have been more different. The movie theater is a dump that plays only the most commercial releases. My video store is Netflix--Hollywood Video is too far a walk, and the closer video store has no selection because its primary business is cell phone accessory sales. As for delivery? We have about 5 menus in heavy rotation: Mexican made by the Chinese, decent Thai, not-spicy-enough-for-Wesley Indian, pizza, and New Post Diner. Occasionally we splurge on Turkish or sushi.

If you read the articles on Sunnyside in this week's Time Out New York or today's New York Times and find yourself curious about life in our neighborhood, please take caution from this transplanted Manhattanite: Life here is not easy like it is across the East River. You will have to adapt. You will have to change. You will become a different person. This place doesn't look like Manhattan, it doesn't feel like Manhattan, and--surprise!--it doesn't have to be anything at all like Manhattan to be a wonderful place to live. If this scares you, then don't bother: there's a whole other borough to the south that you'll like better.

As for me, I like to think I've changed for the better. I'm thriftier, less demanding, more accommodating. In Manhattan, I thought I hated to cook. In Queens, I discovered my inner Top Chef.

Back to our move. In the last year, our living situation degenerated largely due to an absentee landlord who didn't care about livability. It used to be funny--his repairs were always done shoddily with the cheapest material available. There was a leak into the basement that he fixed by repaving the sidewalk. The result is an uneven patch that fills up with water whenever there's even the tiniest amount of rain. We called it "Cunniffe-manship." But when the first-floor neighbors proved unwilling to turn their music down and our landlord refused to stand up for our right to live in peace, we were at a loss. Our home life was fraught with tension; our peaceable kingdom had become a warzone.

Enter the old-fashioned concept of neighborliness. There are a lot of older people on our block, many of whom were born in their homes. Wesley has always said "hi," learned their names, even pitched in with the snow shovel when necessary. I guess we were not the only ones who noticed that the folks on the first floor were uninterested in community standards, because Wesley got stopped by one of our neighbors back in November. M. asked, "Are you happy where you're living?" Wesley said, "Why?" She said, "Because P's top floor apartment is going to be available. Her tenants are moving out." We met P, just seven houses down, who couldn't have been happier to rent the apartment to someone who already lived on the block. Her previous tenants spoke highly of their experience renting from P, who lives on the first floor and has the entry way beautifully fixed up. We walked our stuff down the street on Thursday, and here we are.

Watch for forthcoming posts on the Carpet City on Northern Boulevard (take that, Home Depot!), as well as an update on the situation at the YMCA. One of the managers called me to assure me that things would be changing for the better. I haven't been in a month because of illness and travel, but I'm headed back today to resume my 4x/week running schedule.

They Paved Paradise and Put Up a...CVS?

Paul, who loves to photograph anything rusty, crusty, or delapadated asked me to join him on a jaunt down to the former home of Blooms and the Butcher Block, currently known as cinder-block-monstrosity on Queens Boulevard so that he could photograph the enormous crane that has been brought in for the construction project.

When we arrived we found out that the crane was gone, but a smaller one was lifting giant buckets of concrete skyward to be applied to the upper layers of this bomb shelter in the sky. What had been for months a giant, deep, open pit in the earth that had apparently disrupted the structural integrity of the neighboring buildings was now looking like a remote wing of Riker's Island.

People were standing on all corners looking the concrete going up. The common sentiment was "what the hell is going in there?" And like a sign from the gods, or ummm corporate America, I looked over to see "Coming Soon, CVS."

CVS? CVS? We have Rite Aid, Duane Read, Eckerd, Sunnyside Pharmacy, 99 cent stores, and the infamous South Pole. What kind of city planning gap analysis did the CVS scouters come up with to determine that what would best fill the open wound left in the ashes of Blooms would be another chain drug store! And why the heck do they need such a big building to do it? Have they not seen the enormous T mobile near the other burned on site on Queens Blvd and 46th street? The store is pristine and enormous and completely EMPTY.

So to whomever is constructing that large gray slab of building on the south side of the boulevard, I would've forgiven you for its anti-Sunnyside structure had it been filled with an ethnic or mom and pop shop operation, but for a CVS to be moving in seems like discount shoppers stomping on the grave of Blooms.

Sunnyside Gardens Gets Gentrified The Old Fashioned Way

By getting 'Landmark' status...
Oh, brother

One of Our Own Takes the First Shot

When William Grimes was reviewing restaurants for the New York Times, he would conceal his identity when making a reservation by using the name, 'Ron DeFeo'. In case you didn't know, this is the name of the original Amityville murderer, upon whose story the book and subsequent movies were based. Ron woke up one night and murdered his entire family.

Now, in an act of murderous irony, Queen's own William Grimes is hastening the death of our dear borough, while, irony of ironies, lamenting it's loss.

Read it here , if you must.

New York Style Eats and Their Queens Style Drivers

I'm ready! Whose got my back? These sum bitches, driving around, knocking people to the friggin curb, swerving, nearly missing folk. ME. And my dear, dear, car, The USS Ellen Johnson. She is not subject to vanity or pain. But, I am motherfucker.

I occasionally take a walk around the nabe. Today was something. Ran into some new Asian joint on Skillman. Something called 'Quaint' as well. Things are changing.
Anyway, I ended up passing down the loud, brown block of the deadliest Blvd of them all, when I was nearly crushed by a delivery vehicle for this dump - New York Style Eats. I yelled and immediately reached for the cellular and dialed up '411 and more', connected and started my rant about the delivery boys.

I don't know what I was expecting. Motherfucker wasn't it. Kick your ass wasn't it. So, I turned around - I was already in line at On The Run picking out my numbers. It is my day off, you know... 3, 34, 44, 50, 54. Damn. He, whomever he was, had called me out. So, I walked out and strutted back down to see this heavily-accented man in person.

I walked in and holding my phone up, signaling that I was the caller, said, 'who is the one that wants to kick my motherfucking ass?' Guy at the counter thought it was funny. Finally, the bossman identified himself - 'You no call here. You go." I responded as I did before, 'Drive your vehicles slower or I will kick your ass.'

I don't have kids. But, I like them enough. I once pulled a kid out of a sure hit on the deadly spot on The Blvd and 46th. He nearly started to cry cuz I yelled at him to be more careful. I forget how easily even tough kids can get scared.

One of these days, one of these drivers is going to nail one of these kids. It'll be because the kids try to break against the traffic and the guy in the gray minivan delivering for New York Style Eats didn't get his ass kicked by me, as he was out with his BLTs and short stacks when I came in.

The old man at the counter was all bother. I wonder if my challenge will lead to any change. I hope so. It's been years since I got in a fight with a food service provider. But, in this case, sober, but still angry, I could say I'm doing it for the children.

If you see those bastards driving like assholes around Sunnyside, let us know here at Queensrocks. We'll take care of that shit, tout suite.

NEW YORK STYLE EATs
45-02 QUEENS BOULEVARD, QUEENS 11104
718-937-4121

Current violation points: 26 (2 points shy of failure).

Donuts or Bust - Nita's European Bakery.

Sunday mornings can be awesome. I don't think I really new how to appreciate a Sunday morning until I moved to New York. My old home town didn't have a brunch culture (also known as 'The Fisting'), didn't know how to spell New York Times, and revolved almost entirely around football and therefore booze.

But when J. from down the block told me about creme-filled donuts at The European Bakery on Greenpoint Ave., I knew Sunday's in Queens were about to get a lot better.

But, I'm having one of those weeks. Okay, ten day stretches. Hmm. Anyway, after dealing with some bidness over by the river this morning at 630 or so, I found myself outside this joint by 8. Earlier in the week I had gone in to scope out the place and bought what turned out to be damn fine - if small - muffins and a groovy little thing called a coffee ring. But, I was ready to dig on a donut. I NEEDED a donut.

Do you know who the Soup Nazi is? I used to work around the corner from Soup Kitchen International. It was good soup, made famous (better??) by being immortalized on an episode of Seinfeld. It wasn't too far from true. And, talk about a real - at least before the immortalization - New York Experience. There really is nothing like the desire for good food coupled with the trials to get it that will make New York eating, New York Eating.

Anyway, I ordered the donuts. I got, 'No donuts, today.' 'But, it's Sunday,' I countered. 'No donuts,' was all the response I could get.

So, if I'm up for it, and if God's willing, some time soon I'll be telling you about a creme-filled donut and a real New York experience. But for now, I'm just going to wolf down this crispy-on-the-outside-chewy-on-the-inside cinnamon roll and listen to Kristen Shaughnessy talk about the morning papers while I read the NYTimes online.
I love her. I love the Times. And, though I long for a donut, I love these cinnamon rolls.

NOTE: Nita's received a respectable 13 on it's last inspection.

Malagueta vs. Manhattan

I'm not much of one to rabble-rouse, but all the Manhattan-centric
ideals that permeate New York living get a bit old. I understand their origin. I moved to New York City and that's where I intended to make
it. Then, I moved to Queens and I said, nope, this is where I'm going
to make it. I fit here. (I'm on a bit of free-floating diatribe,
forgive me. I gave up booze seven months ago after an incident at The Courtyard on Queens Blvd. - and I took the
treatment option. I know when to say when. Anyway. After the booze, I'm now strictly on
the Ambien. It's pretty harmless, some late night domain name
purchases, overbidding on ebay on occasion, nudity (mine). But, when I
post on the stuff, it gets difficult to maintain my focus and grammar.)

Anyway, Claire and I went to a Brazilian restaurant for our New Year's
Eve celebration in the Queens. While we were away for Christmas in
Montreal, we bought a subscription- full-on - from zagat.com. So, I
used that to find a restaurant. It suggested 'Malagueta'. It said
things like
A "refreshing surprise" in Astoria, a "well-rounded" lineup of
"excellent", "authentic" Brazilian dishes etc.

Now, here's what happened with that posting and how it got so far away
from the truth. People from Manhattan made the trip out to Astoria,
found a 'cute' restaurant run by amenable folk from the home country
and they thought it was just the greatest thing. They could run back
to Manhattan and tell their friends, pals and colleagues all about it.
"It was an adventure", "some of them know how to really cook", and so
on. Until more of them come. And they write the reviews, send them to
zagat. Tim, Nina and some other putz ex-copywriter do what they can
with it.

Here's the truth about the place - Malagueta is nice. The people who run
the place couldn't be nicer - for Brazilians- and if you know what I
mean great. If you don't, it's not an insult. Brazilians don't make a
big deal out of serving people. It's a job, it's done and it's done
well. They bring the stuff, tell you what it is and that's that.

Manhattanites come over, eat here, think it's quaint and that's what
ends up in Zagat.

We're from Queens. We ate there, we know there's better food to be had
and that's it. The sausage with yuca fries was tepid and over-cooked.
The fish Claire had was drowning in sauce and cheese and salt. My pork
loin didn't have enough sauce to bring it back to life from it's
terrible death in a hot searing pan. We're from Queens, we know
there's five other restaurants doing a better job within three blocks.

It's not the death of Malagueta. If they read this, they'll
understand, they'll fix it. We'll go back next year, we'll eat,
that'll be that.

Send us a list of your favorite restaurants in Western Queens. Don't
say Donovan's. Donovan's is the best restaurant on the planet. I hear
there's a bakery on Greenpoint that has special doughnuts on
Sundays...it's not in Zagats, but it'll be up here soon, I hope.

The Y Responds

Dear Annie
Thank you for your concerns and questions that you have expressed to us. I am consulting some of my other staff in regards to theses issues and I will be in touch with you by the end of this Week. Thanks for your patience

Stay tuned!

Finally! I Write a Letter to the Y

"I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!"

Dear Linda:

I was given your card by the front desk as the right person to whom to direct a complaint.

I have been a member of the LIC YMCA for about 2 years now. I am a runner, and I love that the YMCA has an indoor track so that I can train in the winter without risking the weather. It also gives me a safe place to run year round, as there are no safe places to run outside in the Sunnyside area because of all of the trucks and fast drivers.

I prefer the track to the treadmill because I train for races (including the NYC Marathon), and it is important for training to be able to adjust your speed as needed, instead of having to punch a button up and down as on a treadmill.

I am writing because on a number of occasions I have found the indoor track to be a very unsafe place because of the inconsiderate/oblivious nature of some patrons of the YMCA. Although the rules say to stay single file unless passing, and to only go in one direction, many people simply ignore these rules and do as they please on the track.

For those of us who are running, this makes the experience potentially very dangerous. Here is a list of the dangerous actions I routinely observe on the YMCA indoor track:

- Groups of teenagers walking slowly 2 or even 3 across, paying no attention to runners coming up behind them
- Unattended children during family time on Saturdays and Sundays
- Teenagers and adults who stop suddenly without looking behind them to see if anyone might run into them
- Groups of teenagers hanging out on the backside of the track where the windows to the pool are. This is especially dangerous because the corner near the punching bag is a blind corner.
- Teenagers and adults who walk the wrong direction and ignore requests to walk in the right direction

I visit the Y 3 or 4 times a week to use the track, and observe this behavior almost every time. It's especially troublesome in the busy after-work hours, which is the only time that a lot of us can come work out.

I love that the YMCA is a place where teenagers can come and be in a safe place, and I also love that it is a family-friendly environment. However, I would appreciate it if the rules of the track were strictly enforced so that we can all be safe and enjoy our workouts.

The staff upstairs is kind and well-intentioned, but I have never seen anyone actively monitoring the track. Those of us who come to the Y to train and improve our fitness should NOT have to interrupt our workouts because of rude patrons and an inattentive staff. I am growing tired of having my time at the Y characterized by feelings of frustration, annoyance, and even anger.

On a side note, there is one other small thing that really only applies to runners. The track is set up so that the directions change every other day. However, most runners train every other day, meaning that if I come Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I am running the same direction all three days. On a very small track, this can lead to injury. It would make so much more sense and be much safer for runners if the track went one direction Sun-Wed, and the other direction Thurs-Sat. That way, somebody coming on alternate days will get the benefits of the alternate direction.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your response.

Nominate Us for a 2007 Bloggie...Please

If you are reading this between now and 10 PM Thursday, January 11th and you like what you are reading or just want to give props to Queens, please nominate us for a 2007 Bloggie. http://2007.bloggies.com/

Thanks!

The Aubergine Cafe

In the no-mans land smushed between Sunnyside and Woodside on 50th street and Skillman Avenue resides a gem of a cafe that has Paul and I going back again and again. The Aubergine cafe, which I believe is Irish owned and operated, features fresh coffee drinks, sandwiches, quiche, paninis, pastries, and salads.

Exposed brick lines one wall which also features newspapers and magazines that make ones' dentist office look under stocked. The small space is big on personality and flavorful food. A favorite of mine is the roasted red pepper, mozzarella, basil and olive tapanade sandwich and side salad. The quiche of the day are also delectable.

The only flaw we found in our latest trip, which is no fault of the establishment's, is the Park Slope nature of the clientele. On our latest Sunday afternoon jaunt we found the place to be filled with parents who couldn't care less that their toddling children were running around, screeching at the top of their lungs and at one point even banging on the glass of the pastry case. While we're all for family friendly dining, I wish that parents of rude children would realize that not everyone wants to be friends with their family!

So take a stroll to the outer limits of Sunnyside and partake of what the Aubergine has to offer, but if your kid is not well behaved, do us all a favor and get your coffee and sandwich to go!

(Photo credit: Paul Grove)

New Years Resolution Playing Out at the Y

Lynn and I live on different sides of the tracks, so we work out at different places. I'm inclined to pay her spot a visit, if only for the entertainment factor.

Me, I rock it down at the Y on Queens Boulevard and 32nd Street, in the shadow of the 7 train at the spot where it makes that near-hairpin turn that makes rush hour so much fun. I posted a year ago about the insanity that prevails on the track at the Y, and for awhile, things seemed to be getting worse. They instituted "family time" where children of all ages could be on the track as long as they were accompanied by an adult. The Y has a very loose definition of "accompanied"--I think that multiple zip codes can be involved. Things got really, really bad, and I lost my temper a few times. I know! Can you believe it? Sweet li'l me? It was chaos.

But then, cooler heads prevailed, and now children under 12 are banned from the exercise area completely! Now, the track is a much safer place. Because it's the beginning of January, it's crowded with new members who are trying that walking thing, but I can train those people. I have a "Please stay to the side" or "Comin' through" that seems to do the trick.

Of course, there's a guy who I've seen on the track 3 times now who only walks in the wrong direction, and when you say, "Wrong way!" he just looks puzzled. And there was the lady in the locker room who climbed up onto the bench to change into her bathing suit. Right next to me. I don't need to be eye level with, um, you.

But I'm cool with it all, now that the children are safe from being killed on the track. I might even smile at the desk people next time I walk inside.